19 September 2011


Sitting on my wide wooden reception desk, I'd say, about 150 different people pass me each day. I have three lifts and six doors around my reception where the people I work with pass through. Some glance up, their eyes flicking only slightly so as not to be rude, some stop and lean over the glass panel at the front, and stay for a few minutes to chat, and others just plain walk on by, perhaps pretending im not here, or maybe just too busy to notice.
I'm not hard to miss. I'm slap bang in the middle of the reception area - my desk wider than my arms can stretch, and I'm lit up with hundreds of different kinds of lights, large beamers, little spotlights, and wall mounted atmospherics - all artificial.

Literally, you couldn't miss me.

I've been here in this job now nearly a year. I know the people who I should smile at, or say 'good morning!' to, those who always have the latest bit of office gossip, and I can spot the few who love to stand a little longer over my desk than they should do- for one reason or another.
Sometimes I play little games, which is probably a little bit mean, because I smile like a maniac to the ones who look grumpy, and announce 'good morning' with a little too much enthusiasm and always in a slightly operatic manner, to those who ignore me - just so they have to notice I'm there. It's just good manners, afterall.

But if you haven't got nearly a year to get to know someone's weird and wonderful ways, then it's often really hard to know how interact with them. I sit at my reception desk and out of the corner of my eye, I see the lift doors open - sliding slowly - and I can see a peek of a suit, a shoe, or hear a tinkling laugh before that person steps forward into the lights, and I realise that I've never seen them before. Their face is new to me, their expression (mostly fixed into an expectant look towards me and my reception desk) is often unreadable except to say that they might be needing my attention in a couple of seconds. I've found that people just don't walk around with their thoughts and personalities written all across their faces. Instead, they can be hidden behind smiles, wrapped around words, or lost under glazed, work-tired eyes.

There's this thing I've been able to do, ever since I was young. It's a useful ability, and in my people-watching reception, has proved monumentally helpful. I can honestly, no kidding, sense people. That's not using my sight, my hearing, or even (thank goodness) my sense of smell. To put it more specifically - whilst risking sounding like the gigantic hippy I am and nearly always try to avoid to be - I sense their energy; their aura.  

When I was younger, I didn't know what an aura was. I thought it was pretty normal to just know how people were feeling as I clapped my eyes upon them. I got this niggling instinct in the pit of my stomach, that wiggled it's way up until I paid it some attention. Almost always I was right.
There are hundreds of books out there on auras. There are the airy-fairy ones, the rather technical ones and the ones with the photographs to prove them (Kirlian photography - if you're interested). But to put it very simply; an aura is an energy field which radiates all around you. It's your personal energy, made up of essentially you. Even, I guess, right down to whether you liked that expensive dinner last night, how you hated peas when you were six-years-old and those high flying dreams of what you want to be 'when you grow up'. I have come to realise, that these auras are made up of all the things you just don't go around shouting about in everyday life - especially at work - but are extremely important in making up exactly who you are, nonetheless.

I think I got this extra-sensory ability from my Mum. She can suss out a person with one small glance. I remember how I'd bring around my shiny new best friend after school. We'd sit and chat, eating our sausages, chips and baked beans in the kitchen, before racing up to my bedroom and talking about the latest boy we fancied in our class. Later on, after she'd gone home, I'd come down to the kitchen in my pyjamas and ask Mum proudly what she thought of my 'new best friend'.
She'd narrow her eyes and tilt her head to the side, as if working out the best way to put it across.
"A nice girl." She'd say, squinting a bit. "'Though, if I was you, I'd be careful she doesn't pinch your boyfriend." Well, I'd stand there arguing with her until my face went blue, thinking of a hundred different reasons why my new best friend could never, ever stab me in the back or run off with the boy I fancied. And without fail, within a couple of weeks, she would.

Relating to people in everyday life seems make a lot more sense when you know about auras. You begin to understand those people who after just five minutes of talking with them, are able to make you feel as if you need a seriously stiff drink and a lie down. You then begin to really appreciate those people who have a warmth around them - an inner beauty that radiates out when they communicate; so much so that you could sit and talk to them all evening, because you just connect.

I'm sure it's why I get so claustrophobic on the underground in London. All those bodies, and their individual auras crammed into that tiny carriage on the District Line into Wimbledon. Just living in London in general, I find myself searching out open areas, standing in the middle of parks, desperately finding my own space to be me whilst living among eight million people. And then, amongst all those millions, you might find one aura you connect with more than any other.

And for me, that aura belongs to Liam. I dont tell him this fact very often. Mainly because he's incredibly skeptical about anything he can't actually, physically see, but also because it's hardly what a guy wants to hear; 'Oooh your aura's lovely...'
But it's true.
He's got this energy about him that I could sit and connect with forever. It's warm, open and safe. When he's scooting across the world on his business trips and I'm left at home with the cat; well, we miss him. I can always talk with him on the phone about my day, so it's probably not our conversation that I miss most. As a self-confessed hermit, I definitely don't miss sharing our tiny little flat; fighting over the remote control, squished up on one half of the bed and getting cross because he's nicked the last of the sour cream dip. No, it isn't one thing in particular. It's his aura I miss. That buzz of energy around him that makes up every single part of him. The bits I dont know, the bits I do - the everything that is essentially him.



  1. That's one gift I wish I had. Might avoid some "big" mistakes in my life!! Good post but can I say I'm more excited to see an actual picture of you on your blog! Yayyyyy! You're adorable. Hugs.

  2. Beautiful. My mom was also one to see auras in people. I used to believe I could do it when I was younger, but I think that age, defense, and skepticism have hindered it by now. I definitely still get bothered by people though, describing it as 'something about them bothers me' or 'gives me the heebie-jeebies' and I'm fairly certain it's the part of me interpreting auras telling me to walk away.


    (sorry about the anonymous post, my account is being tempermental about posting in embedded comment forms. O_o)

  3. I should be way more sceptical about those things than i actually am (i don't think i'm supposed to believe in auras and whatnot since i'm supposed be a woman of science) still i do believe that everyone has a certain light within them, a certain energy. It's not something that you can see with your eyes, but it is more something you 'sense'. Some people are lucky enough to 'sense' the essence of a person right away, others take a bit longer...still i'm quite convinced it's all there.

    Since we are on the subject, I enjoyed reading 'the celestine prophecy' by james redfield some time ago, if you haven't read it you should definitely give it a's not shakespeare but i'm sure you could use it to take your mind off missing liam next time he's out of town! :-)

  4. I found this a fascinating post as I know absolutely nothing about auras but it sounds very intriguing. I wonder what my aura is like, haven't got a clue! I'm glad you have found someone who you connect so well with. I also wanted to say that I really enjoyed the way you put this piece together and the descriptions of office life were spot on from my experience.

  5. Happyness is having an invisible aura...why-O-why didn't I think of that before!

  6. Beautiful.

    I also sense other people's aura and it can be quite exhausting sometimes...

  7. Oh, I don't know, I'd quite like to be told my Aura is lovely! You are a very fine writer - there is real depth there but handled with a light touch. Well done!

  8. I was looking for inspiration tonight, and that was inspiring...and challenging.

    Thanks, I loved your thoughts.

  9. Barb - Oh no, I still make BIG mistakes too! Aw. Thanks :)

    Dysfunction - It sounds like you still sense auras to me. I say, always trust that vibe - it's ever so useful. Thank you for a lovely comment. (P.S. Have you tried using firefox insted of internet explorer? It worked for me re. the anonymous problem!)

    Antonella - Oh, I'm glad I got you thinking! Funny you should mention it, I'm reading the Celestine Prophecy at the moment, it's really good! Thank you for stopping to comment.

    Happy Frog - I'm absolutely sure you've got a lovely aura. Thank you, I'm so pleased you enjoyed this post. It was a bit different, but I think it worked!

    Michael - Haha, if only!

    Starlight - It really can. I'm still trying to figure out a way not to get all drained by other people's auras. If you find one, do let me know! ;-)

    Hospitable Scots Batchelor - *blush* Well. I might tell him more often then. Thank you. Lovely thing to say.

    The Tame Lion - Hello! Nice to meet you. Thank you for stopping by.

    The Girl Three Doors Down - Welcome! Thank you for saying so. Glad it inspires you. Energies and auras absolutely amaze me - I love writing about them.

  10. Bth- I totally get this. People do have an aura, and much like you (and your mom), I've always felt like I can sense the essence of that aura. I think some people are just more in tune to this sense than others. Being interested in people certainly predisposes you to that. Or is because of your interest in other people that that particular sense is heightened?

    Hmm.... Love this post. Love that you and the cat miss Liam when he's not around. (And of course, you do sense that in your cat as well!) :~)

  11. love this post..i enjoyed much!! you are so talented and pretty

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  12. Eager to hear more from, you. What's keeping you?