23 March 2012

Delivery Man

He walks into reception, just as I'm about to start packing my things away at the end of the day. He's a fair bit older than most of the other couriers who drop packages off at my reception and almost limps out the lift to prove it. He looks kind of grubby, his luminous jacket covered in all that soot dusting about London, and his hair looks like a mass of wire wool that continues around his chin to form a Santa-like beard. 

"Hello!" I sing, making a point of smiling at him.  

I think I've seen him before. I vaguely remember that unusual heavy-duty luminous jacket with the big pockets.

"Hello, again." He says in a low, gruff voice, (confirming my wondering). His accent is heavy, although I'm not quite sure where in the world I'd place him.

He hands me the parcel over my desk, with a friendly, "And 'ow are you?"  

"Oh, I'm fine, having a nice afternoon. How are you doing?" I reply automatically, and so was quite surprised when I heard him answer;


My eyes widen. I look at his face. Wrinkles piling up on top of each other, his mouth has slipped into a sad thin line. Come to think of it, he looks a little like an Arabic version of my Grandad. As he sighs a long sigh, I notice a slight twinkle in his eye.

"Oh, no! That really is terrible." I say, happy to play along. "What's making you feel so bad?"

He shrugs and raises one hairy eyebrow. 

The tone of his voice lowers into to a whisper as he hands me his tablet to sign.  "Aaah... It's my job." He says sadly.

"Your job?" I take the pen from him and quickly scribble my signature. He nods as I hand it back to him. 

"Oh no! You know, you really shouldn't be doing a job that makes you feel terrible... Surely you can find one that makes you feel happy on a Friday afternoon!?" I say smiling at him. 

Always a fixer, I pause from my work for a minute to give him my complete attention. After all, he seems such a sweet old man. "Okay." I say, tilting my head to the side and looking pointedly at him. "So, if you could do anything, anything in the world, what would you really love to do?

And quick as a flash, he looks me straight in the eye and says;

"Have lots of sex." 


  1. Hahahahahahaha!

    That's great! Your banter with him probably helped his mood for the day anyway.

  2. yep. I believe it, though I wouldn't offer to pay him for it. hahaha.

  3. I think I like the way this man thinks...haha. Very fun.

  4. I thought he was going to say something very profound, but at least he's being honest, although was that a come on?

  5. I didn't see it coming, but it made me laugh. Thanks for sharing this story with us, I liked it :)

  6. I never saw it coming either, but one thing struck me.
    He was possibly being one of the most honest people you met that day.

    A young pretty girl, aware enough of him to give him your full attention, would have triggered his boyish nature. Sure I believe he fancied you, but more than that, he felt loved by you. Most of us don't respond this way because we fear offending others, but maybe he wanted to give you a compliment in his own affable way to say thank you. I bet he gets looked down at, by most office workers in your big smoke, so maybe he saw what we do. A little light in London, being a glowing ball of awareness.

    Granted we don't all want to have sex with you, but we do love your posts and inspirations.

    Big Hugs and loads of love.

  7. Ah, he's not too far gone then. ;)

  8. I loved this! Very well crafted and I didn't see the end coming (so to speak!)

  9. dys.func.tion - I hope so!

    Nessa Roo - Haha... No, me neither...

    Bouncin Barb - Yes. Me too. I hope I'm as naughty as that when I'm old!

    Dicky - I'm hoping not, but I can't help but think it might have been.

    Sunny Toast - Thank you!

    Starlight - No, I hadn't seen it coming either. Haha.

    Peaceful Warrior - Yes. I thought he was being honest. I do love it when people are open, honest. Makes a big change in this city when people open up to you a little. :)
    Haha - thank you!

    Austan - Nope. I guess not!

    Happy Frog - Haha - Thanks Abbey x

  10. Haha! This was great, not at all what I expected when I started reading it, took me completely by surprise. =)

  11. bahahah....of course my eye was drawn to the last sentence as that indeed would be the ultimate 'job', but seriously, nice piece of work you have scribed out there...taking everyday things and adding colour and vibrancy to it..well done!