Being Twenty-six

London has suddenly exploded with sunshine. Walking to the station yesterday to catch my train for work, there was something special in the air as I passed through the park near my flats. The sun was low in the sky, and just brushing the tree tops in the distance, so bright beams shot across the grass and played havoc with the mist that had settled quietly across the field. The air was crisp, and tickled my nose, but it wasn't cold enough to steam up my breath. I stopped to take a picture by the railings. It looked like something paranormal. Just beautiful. It was a fresh morning, the kind that wakes you right up and starts to make you think. Even at seven O'clock in the morning.

I will be twenty-six on Saturday. Twenty-six.  

I continued up the path, and watched as a grey figure walked through the mist just a couple of hundred yards in front of me. I could hear the footsteps and heavy breathing getting louder as they strode towards me, but the mist distorted his face. He passed quickly and smiled as he went. I beamed back. A little exchange of how beautiful it was. My thoughts flipped back to my birthday.

Was twenty-six really so different from being twenty-five? 

I walked briskly along the path, carefully avoiding squishing all the tiny red berries that had dropped to the ground from the tree overhead.

It's taken me a year, but I think I'm in a good place. At twenty-six, I've got a nice flat, a job that pays for it, good friends and a lovely man.  I might even go as far to say I'm beginning to love London.

I left the park, noticing the way the fog just slipped by and out of sight as I walked across the cast iron bridge and turned left through the estate. Feeling settled, or rather, feeling safe has always been rather important to me. Change was never something I was very good at. I'd try and do everything possible to keep things the way they were. I loved photographs that captured beautiful moments with natural real-life poses, videos I could play over and over again watching every movement and reliving a tiny snippet of who I was at one tiny point in time. And then there were the diaries. I might not have been good at change, but recording change; I was brilliant.

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A fabulous day in London - 14th April 2006

(Aged 20)

We set off at Amersham to get the cheap tickets. Ahead of us was just the most romantic day. It was cool - not too cold but lovely and bright. We arrived in London and started with Covent Garden - my favourite place. We were really hungry so I'd made a picnic and done some cute sandwiches. It was lovely... We arrived and he held me close and we kissed and as we did the sun came out. 

I felt so happy... I held his hand and loved looking around the ring stalls and there was a carousel where we sat by and ate our sandwiches in the sun. Then we made our way to St James' Park (while the sun was still out). Walked through the park and even saw Buckingham Palace. Squirrels and blossom were everywhere. We sat on a little bench by the lake and I lay on Leam's lap. I loved just being together away from the usual setting in Manchester. Decided Leam would love Camden and so off we went to the market. He bought me a nose stud from a stall by the lochs. Everyone was having a pint in the sun, so we thought we'd go for a drink. We went to Embankment, and went aboard a river boat on the Thames. Such a beautiful setting. We talked about summer and the future. Felt so good, but got a little cold as evening set in, so we decided to go to china town for an evening meal. I did my usual on the restaurants; changed my mind, couldn't decide on a table, before finally asking to leave and find another one. Then we found a lovely cosy place, nice - but quite expensive. We had London fever, and I just so wanted to stay. If only we could afford a hotel! We made our way back- I felt happy. The day had really summed up for me how good the last six months together have been. We have the 'at one'ishness. There's no need to speak. No silences. He's just so cute and I'm so in love. Still.